'Tis there's the stone that whoever kisses
He never misses to grow eloquent;
'Tis he may clamber to a lady's chamber,
Or become a member of Parliament.
"A noble spouter he'll sure turn out, or
An out and outer to be let alone;
Don't try to hinder him, or to bewilder him,
For he is a pilgrim from the Blarney stone."
- Irish Bard Francis Sylvester Mahony
When you compile a list of spots you hope to visit during any trip to Ireland, invariably, most travellers will almost immediately box-check the Blarney Castle and its legendary Blarney Stone in County Cork, which we were fortunate enough to visit on both Jackie AND Scott's shared birthday.
The best known legend of the kissing the Blarney Stone is that it endows the kisser with the gift of gab, or great eloquence or skill at flattery.
Challenge accepted.
The current incarnation of Blarney Castle dates back to around 1446, though another edifice stood on the same spot for about two prior centuries. The standing one is a tower house, a type of fortification built by Gaelic lords and the Anglo-Irish between the 15th and 17th centuries. Tower houses are typically four or five stories tall with one or two main chambers, plus several ancillary chambers on each floor.
Blarney Castle also features a Murder Hole, whcih was a hole in the floor of the second level of the castle, which is now fitted with an iron gate so that no tourists fall though. When the castle walls were breached and the enemy had entered the castle at the ground floor, the occupants could stand on the level above and throw objects down onto the people entering - weapons including boiling hot liquids to burn their enemies alive.
The castle walls are 18 feet thick at the base, gradually sloping inwards as they rise. This makes the building more stable but would also have helped with defense - when an object was dropped from the top it would bounce off the wall on the way down and fly outwards into the enemy.
Great fun storming this particular castle!
Some readers of this blog will say they would never kiss the stone because they've heard from locals the urban legends that someone empties their bladders upon the wall nightly.
My hot take: I travelled to a new country to experience something thousands of others do every day. If you're fine with the concept of kissing a block of limestone about two feet wide that hundreds of others have already gotten up close and personal with before you on any given day, you can just apply an abundance of sanitizer to your lips post-event. Which we did.
The view from high atop Blarney. I never knew heading into this trip that the stone in question was actually 85 feet above the ground. Stupidly, I always thought it was at the base of the castle and never understood the heights people would scale to see the vaunted stone.
Finally, after climbing the narrow inner staircases that were so constricting I couldn't keep my backpack on, we made it to the top, and it was time for a series of smooches. Supposedly four out of ten of the people who make it the top of the castle opt out rather than hang over the wall. We were not going to be those four.
Make no mistake, it's not a simple physical task. You have to grab two iron rails on either side of your head, slide over backwards, and crane down several about two feet while your upper torso tries to remain flat on the top of the castle parapet walkway. In my case, one of my sneakers came off as I tried to anchor my ample-sized torso on solid ground.
Take off your baseball hats, and remove any sunglasses, or for that matter, ANY loose items on your body, for fear of them falling through the wrought-iron gate that supposedly prevents you from falling upside-down to your certain death below.
There's two men atop the castle - one who takes your pic for documentation purposes, and another who offers one arm to somewhat help you keep your bearings as you begin your upside-down descent into the castle wall opening.
Atop the castle as you approach the much heralded stone, you can read of the series of legends and lore that swirl around the myth involving the stone and its historic kiss.
You decide which of the versions you choose to believe as you absorb the pics of Sue, Scott, Jack and I experiencing Irish history and officially garnering the gift of gab.
The first version claims the stone was used by Jacob as a pillow when he dreamed of the ladder extending up to heaven with angels ascending and descending on it, and that it was brought from the Holy Land after the Crusades. First kiss!
Another legend, appropriate for Scottish Scott, is that it was given to the MacCarthy Chieftain by Robert Bruce in thanks for support he offered by sending 5,000-foot soldiers to Scotland to help him against Edward II, and that it was part of the Stone of Scone, on which the Kings of Scotland were inaugurated. Second smooch!
A third version, for my bewitching wife, accounts that Cormac McTaidhg Láidir MacCarthy, rescued an old woman from drowning in a river and that she turned out to be a witch. In gratitude she told him of a certain stone already in the castle that had magic properties and that he could benefit by kissing it.
Third peck!
The most elaborate and romantic legend concerns the Queen of the Fairies, who was the beautiful daughter of a leading druid. She fell in love with a gallant young chieftain who broke her heart by not returning her love. He was killed in battle, and she found his body on a stone on the banks of the river lee. His blood had soaked into the stone. There she grieved, her tears joining his blood in the stone which she continually kissed. This caused her magical powers to be absorbed by the stone itself. Cormac Láidir MacCarthy, was advised by the Queen of the Fairies that this stone, on which she had wept, had been built into his castle and that if he kissed it his difficulties would be resolved.
Fourth smack!
Having officially now acquired the gift of gab, I'm happy to say the experience, while not for the faint of heart, was one of most memorable pieces of historic lore that we got to take in, and kudos to my three fellow travelers for puckering up and soldiering on despite the physically challenging requirements of the task!
Back on solid ground, we stood at the base of Blarney and looked back up to see the stone we just smooched. The block of light in the center of the pic shows where we hung suspended just a tad earlier.
The view from the rear of the castle
In the rear of the Blarney Castle proper stands Blarney House, built in 1874. The house, built in Scottish Baronial style is made of light blue hammer dressed limestone and fronts Blarney Lake.
In the gardens alongside Blarney House, Jackie went out on a limb for this quality pic
One of the stranger sights we've taken in on our Ireland trek at the base of Blarney Castle was the Poison Garden, seen over our left shoulders in the pic below. All of the plants within the garden can be found in the wild or in gardens, and yet the products of these plants are responsible for millions of deaths each year! Yikes! Within the walls of this particular garden, you'll find deadly nightshade, the opium poppy, hellebore, poison hemlock, wolfsbane and European mandrake, and God only knows how many other killer plants.
Some other quick fun facts about this garden: The sign at the entrance says Enter At Your Own Risk. Some of the more dangerous of the species are contained within steel cages to avoid them being sniffed, eaten or touched! Children have to be accompanied by an adult in this stretch of the grounds.
So of course, we just HAD to wander through!
And before we head out, one more special kiss inside the Poison Garden at Blarney Castle!
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